I am home (sigh of relief)! The carride home was uneventful, L and Jk slept for most of the time. Now I can vent about the weekend without fear of things being left behind on other's computers!
So the whole issue with the stairs, it sucked. It is hard for me to ask for help, so I don't. I also don't always get the help I need from my IL's. I found it hard to keep asking for other's to go get my things, a diaper, wipes, a book... and bedime came, so the kids wanted me, so up and down the friggin steps again and again. As i mentioned in the first half of this post, my right hip was pretty bad all weekend, left was ok, and when I was putting Jk to bed, I had my first meltdown, tears and all, more on my numerous meltdowns soon.
Its not that I don't get along with my IL's, it is just an uncomfortable tension that exists, and has always existed between us. To make matters worse, J's grandparents were there as well, they can add tension to any situation. I just did so much walking, stair climbing and standing there, I am exhausted.
So now, at 12:40 am, I am in my own bed with my laptop. My operated hip is stiff and tight, but I just sat in a car for 3 hours. I am developing the anterior tightness I had last time, but much earlier,I remember bringing it up to Dr Kelly at my 8 week appointment, so things are moving quicker this time.
I had a few other "tearful" moments this weekend, I think I am accepting the fact that I retore the labrum on the right. I know, I said no jumping to conclusions and its too early to tell, but this pain is not compesation pain, once you experience the torn labrum pain, you don't forget. And I have no imaging to back me up, which is fine, this way it is not really reality, at least not yet. I have been upset and angry about it. I really thought I did everything right, I went to a top hip guy, we found the impingement and thought it was addressed, rehab went great, but somewhere along the line, something went awry. I keep saying that I feel like I wasted so much time, 4 months of PT, 4 weeks of crutches, and all for nothing,I am back where I started. Looking back, I don't know what I could have done differently, but I feel like I failed at this. I hope I am wrong, I hope I am having an emotional/ hormonal day and completely overreacting about it, and in 2 weeks I will wake up and have no pain!
Ok, I feel better now! Got that off my chest! So I ended up leaving my crutches behind this afternoon,Jk and I went to the mall, I got a pair of ballet flats http://www.gap.com/browse/product.do?cid=34759&pid=514975 (very cute if I do say so myself), walked around a little but then had to go home. I can't expect to be able to walk for hours on my first day of of crutches! My gait was not perfect, but it is improving each day, and I used my excursion as personal gait training,I tried to focus and swinging my leg straight through, and not around!
After the mall, Jk and I picked L and J up from the basebal game, she had a blast, as did he! We got home, I was trying to unload the car and help L run in to use the bathroom, and the nxt thing I knew I was on the ground.I tripped on some water thing on my IL's sidewalk. It was so scary, luckily, I landed on my knees/ hands and spared the hips, but I just sat on the ground, stunned, with J asking if I am ok, and if I hurt my hip. I was fine, the only damage as the grass stain on my white leggings!
So now i am home! It is such a great feeling! I can focus on my rehab and returning to work, no later than a week from tommorrow!
No comments:
Post a Comment