Monday, October 15, 2007

Objectives Vs. Subjectives

I can't believe no one 'de-lurked'. I am very disappointed. I was going to go on a blogging strike until you did, but this is killing me.
I am going out of my mind. I have been having so many doubts about whether I am making the right decision or not with revision surgery. I think L sees that I am losing it. I went out tonight, to Target (needed milk, light bulbs and undershirts), as I was leaving, she said to me: "Mommy, be careful, don't step into cars, wait for the walking man and if a car comes, stop." How adorable is that, L is only 3!

So here is my dilemma. I went through this with my first surgery as well. I always have good days and bad days. On the good days, I wonder if I am going crazy. What would calm my fears was that I had an MRI which showed pathology, it disproved my theory that I was crazy (at least in this sense) . This time, I have inconclusive scans. But, there is the cam impingement. Do you see where I am going with this? Yes, straight into the psych ward!!!

My intra-articular injection got rid of all of my pain, the psoas injection helped with some of the pain but the joint injection was a million times better. I really don't want my psoas released, and Dr. Kelly knows that (maybe bc I repeated it like a million times!). But what if I am wrong? What if he is right? But none of my imaging revealed a problem with the psoas, but then again, it didn't reveal a problem with much of anything. But he has never touched, stretched or looked at my psoas, much of our discussions have been over the phone. So really he is going on all of my subjective complaints. It is scary. So that is why I have been freaking out.

On a different note, I ordered a spinning bike. I am so excited, it should arrive tomorrow. I used to be a maniac spinner, nothing in the world gives me the same high as spinning. I don't see any reason why I can't go back to spinning, I desperately need to exercise and this is perfect for me and my lifestyle since I don't have time to go to the gym! Hopefully by tomorrow night I will be able to go for my first ride!!

6 comments:

Funnelcloud Rachel said...

Hey Susie - sorry no one delurked, but you still have your loyal fan base!

I know all about that questioning and thinking you are crazy (and it's amazing how much my perspective has changed now that I've been through with the surgery!). I will tell you from an outside source, that after reading about the pain you've felt in your first hip since July - that your symptoms are REAL and you are not crazy. Go with your gut - if it hurts, get it fixed! :) (I don't mean this to be "assvice" - I just mean that your struggle with pain is apparent to someone who doesn't even know you - so it's definitely not just in your head!)

By the way, your daughter's advice is the cutest thing ever! Plus, you've been teaching her well if she already knows about the "walking man"!

Anonymous said...

Susie -
right -- you're not crazy,
but I know it FEELS that way :-o

ooo
KT

T said...

hey susie - i know i just had my psoas released, so now that i've had it done i've been meaning to ask why you seem so against it? i'm not saying it's loads of fun, and i have different issues than you, but was just curious about your reasoning, if you don't mind me asking?

Susie said...

I can't believe this has been going on sine july. I know, there have been ups and downs, and now as I am writing, in bed, after spinning, I know something is def. not right. I am now waiting to hear from OS!!!

Susie said...

Psoas release- in my book, I dont need it, there is no reason why I should have it done. Tricia, I read your op report, it was impingeing on your labrum.I am of the opinion that mine is fine. OS has never looked, touched, stretched it. This is all based on phone conversations. Also, I am very tight in general, my hip muscles are all tight, I cannot stretch my hamstrings, seriously. My SI joint is slightly hypermobile. I think my body has its checks and balances and functions in this way. Also, the psoas is a hip flexor, I do beleive that if cut, it will never be as strong, so I will always have a strength deficit there, plus it acts as an anterior restraint to the hip, I need it there!!! If there was a good reason for dong it, I might not be so 'bull-headed', but I see no reason to cut a perfectly fine tendon!

T said...

ok, thanks, just wanted your opinion, i know we have different issues, but i was just curious.
hope dr kelly rang you back or at least emailed w/ a plan.