The 5 Stages of Grief

Denial

Anger
Bargaining
Depression
Acceptance

I thought I was in 'anger' over this whole possible 'revision' business. I have been so pissed off, moody, and down right sad. But I think I may have reverted to denial yesterday at the Burberry sample sale. Take a look at what I bought.

Will I ever be able to wear them???

(if so, what do they go with???)

The Appointment

Ahhh, the dreaded/ anticipated appointment. I went with my friend Amy, also a two timing hipster, so I had someone to hang out with in the waiting room. I met a blog reader (Lakewood) who said "Susie, as in Susie711?" It was nice to see there are actually real people who are reading this that I can meet!! I didn't catch your name though, but I hope your appt went well, if you have any more questions feel free to email me suzq613 @ aol . com (take out spaces).
So, I waited about an hour. Dr. Kelly came in with Arianna, we discussed the injection, and what happened with the right hip and what is going on with it now. He quickly checked my ROM, nothing else really, and said he is not really sure of what is going on. I mentioned that I had gone over the radiology reports and noticed that there is cam impingement in that hip (thanks Rachel), he sighed and said "I know" in a concerned tone. Then he sat down. Let's see what happens with the injection, if it is an inflammatory reaction, then the cortisone from yesterday should take care of it, call us in 2 weeks and we can talk about it. He also said that when he was in the joint with the scope, he didn't think the labrum had torn from the cam, since the lesion didn't look 'peeled back', it looked to be consistent with the pincer impingement, that's why he left it. Then he looked at me and said "you don't look too convinced", I said no, I'm not, I have always had residual pinching, even from the very beginning, with the second surgery, I had great ROM from the very beginning, so looking back, something has been not right with the right. I have pain with flexion, IR and adduction, so no, I am not convinced that this is inflammatory. So he said, sometimes, he does need to go back in a second time to correct more impingement, this did not make me at all happy. Then he said, you know what, call early next week instead of in 2 weeks so we can figure this out and figure out what the next step is. So this is where I stand, no concrete answers yet, but the possibility of a third surgery looms.

The Beauty of huge Needles in Small Spaces

Yes, I had my injection today (#3 for me, I think I can start doing them myself). I had a different radiologist today than the previous times, apparently, I was supposed to have him every time, but someone (hmm, who can that be) screwed it up.

What was different this time was the doctor brought my hip through some ROM pre-injection, documented my pain levels with certain motions (hyperflexion, flexion with IR, flexion with ER), then injected, and then ranged the hip again. I went from a 7/10, 10/10, 0/10 to a 0/10 for all motions. So I got up and was pain free.

There were 3 or 4 good hours, the injection was around 10:30, 11:00, by 3:30, the anesthetic wore off and the joint felt irritated. In the past, I have had a huge flare up the night of the injection, but the radiologist told me things may be different because the hip has been operated on. He also said, before he started, that it may be a little bit more difficult and uncomfortable to inject because of scar tissue, but once he was in the joint space, he told me he felt no resistance.
So far, my pain has returned, slightly increased than pre-injection levels, I am waiting for the flare up but it doesn't seem to be happening.

In terms of the right side, it has been better since P mob'd it on Monday, s I am writing this, it just tightened up nightmarishly, I am typing on my stomach, with my body pillow folded in half under my thigh near my knee to get some hip extension and stress the anerior capsule.

Tomorrow I see Dr. Kelly. When I was in today, I was given my entire chart, photocopied. Interestingly, my first X-ray of the right hip showed a synovial herniation pit in the head neck junction, and the MRI's (both of the right) showed mild cam impingement (on a side note, the left MRI showed no cam impingement but it was found on visual inspection with the arthroscope). Clearly, this is a huge issue and I somehow have to bring it up delicately, but firmly. Any ideas?????

I Stand Corrected

I have to sincerely apologize to psoas. It was not psychotic, angry, vengeful or problemsome. It was the actual joint capsule, it tightened up like it hated me. The is why I had stabbing pain in the hip this morning with any type of motion, and awful pain the past few days.

I woke up this morning at 5:00 to excruciating pain, probably worse than surgical pain, it hurt to move, breathe or think. Walking was the best therapy. I somehow made it out the door and to work, where I explained to P the day's situation. "I am super tight anteriorly, it feels like there is a bungee cord inside my hip that pulls me backwards when I take too big a step on the right, I woke up in 10/10 pain...please help. Oh, can you do a grade 5 mob in a FABER position."

So P checked it out and began doing some anterior mobilizations, it really hurt with each thrust forward, but it felt like productive pain, if that makes any sense at all. And slowly, the capsule loosened up. He did one grade 5 mobilization, but not in FABER, in prone (on my stomach), it was extremely painful, and I tightened up and began guarding, so he had to promise no more grade 5's!

By the time he was done, I felt great. My gait was normal and the stabbing pain was gone. Around 10:30, the tightness came back with a vengeance. But after walking around for a while, it slowly let up. Later on in the day, I felt it tighten up again, but this was so different, it quickly 'grabbed' me and tightened up, but I walked on it and it loosened up again.
When I got home, I went to the pool with L and Jk, and the constant activity was good to keep it loose.

I see a huge problem though for most people and even more so for those in PT. I come in with a different complaint almost every time I have PT, but I can easily pinpoint exactly what is bothering me and we can remedy it. I think this may be a part of why many people are having unsuccessful surgeries, the surgery is successful, but there are so many 'complications' that arise later on, and describing the location and quality of pain is very difficult. I asked P what he thought about that, and he agreed, and said we are 'lucky' bc I am going through it and it will be a huge learning experience for all of us.

Psychotic Psoas

Need I say more. I woke up this morning with an awful tightness in the front of my left hip. I couldn't take large steps, and when I would try, it felt like a bungee cord inside, pulling me back. Since doing nothing the day before clearly didn't help, I decided to do some walking. It helped. Not completely though, but it helped. When I lie down, I cannot get into a full FABER position (lying on your back, one leg straight, other one bent with the ankle resting just above the knee of the other leg, try to bring knee to the ground), so I am lacking anterior translation of the femoral head. P will have to figure something out tomorrow to fix this!!

Today is the definitive sign that no amount of pain, limp or discomfort will stand in my way, or maybe it is the definitive sign that I am an idiot. You be the judge! When I was in college, a bunch of us went out to a bar/ pool hall/ arcade etc for the night. My friend and I discovered a fun arcade game called Dance Dance Revolution, the explanation of DDR from wikipedia is as follows: "In Dance Dance Revolution, a player must move his or her feet to a set pattern, stepping in time to the general rhythm or beat of a song. During normal gameplay, arrows scroll upwards from the bottom of the screen and pass over stationary, transparent arrows near the top (referred to as the "guide arrows" or "receptors"). When the scrolling arrows overlap the stationary ones, the player must step on the corresponding arrows on the dance platform."

Since our initial DDR day, my friend and I have grown and matured, and gone on to have 2 children each. today, we took the kids to an amusement park, which happened to have an arcade, which happened to have DDR. We had to play.

We dumped the kids with the husbands and played, and played, and played, until we were both dripping sweat and I was limping! But we had a blast!! The good thing is that other than the psoas trouble, the left hip handled the jumping like a star, no joint pain, no soreness, right was sore though. But we had a blast! I think this is a good sign, P always jokes that 'next time', we will start plyometrics, which would be some jumping and landing...and I laugh at the absurdity. But today, I did it!!!

I am really happy with my left hip right now, I know I am in pain from the psoas, but if I were to judge the success of the surgery now, I would say A+! And DDR helped to prove this!

Psoas Problems

I am on vacation (yes, again), just for the weekend. So I have practically sat on my ass for 24 hours, so yes, my right hip is in 'labral heaven'. My left hip has decided to be fresh, and it feels like every muscle has gone into spasm. I don't think I did anything too extreme. J was away on business so I did all the packing for this trip, but it didn't bother me (rather, it didn't bother my hip). It started Thursday, my adductors felt tight, and it hurt me to ER the left hip. This is fine, in my book, painful ER can only be from muscular things, and as long as there is no painful IR, I can be free and clear of any joint issues. P worked on the adductors, and left me a nice bruise, but they feel better.
But this muscle pain is awful. I have narrowed it down to the psoas, good old psoas. I feel like it has adhered to something, and I want it to 'pop' and be free. I have been stretching the heck out of it all day and it has helped a little. I also did some soft tissue work on psoas, iliacus and sartorius today, so now it is only psoas that is being a pain.
I would like someone to manipulate this hip anteriorly, but I don't think I will be able to convince P it is a good idea, but I will definitely try on Monday! That way, the joint can be pushed just past the end range and free up my motion a little (hopefully).

I was actually limping earlier today, real, actual limping, how pathetic. I still cannot understand why my muscles decide to turn on me in such ways. I would think getting in the pool would be helpful but it is so friggin' cold, I don't think it would be worth it!! I will continue to do some soft tissue work on it and update on this when I get home Sunday night.

Ewww, Gross

My hip clicks, inside the joint, it is gross. I have very loud, clicking knees, so at first, I thought it was my knees, but then, on closer inspection, I realized it was my right hip, a loud, painless click. It clicks with rotation. L took my engagement ring 2 weeks ago and I have yet to find it. I was emptying out every drawer in my dresser in hopes of finding it when the infamous clicking began. The clicking in my knees comes after years of pain and a finding of decreased joint space (at the tender age of 22), but with activity modification as well as footwear adjustment, my knees are no longer painful, just loud.

My left psoas has suddenly decided to rear its ugly head, it just tightened up and is limiting my ER. P will definitely have his work cut out for him tomorrow!! Why is that almost everyone with hip labral tears ends up with psoas problems. After my first scope, I had so much tightness for such a long time, my gait went slightly out of whack as I would subconsciously try to have a longer stride to get a tiny stretch in the psoas with each step. It did eventually resolve on its own, and it got bad around 7-8 weeks post-op, same as I am now.

5 more days until my injection...but who's counting!!!!

Guilty Mother Syndrome

J is out of town so I took the opportunity tonight to order some pictures of the kids which have been uploaded for a very long time, but never purchased. I came across one picture of each kid that was so cute, it was a shame not to share!




Things have been pretty much status quo around here. For the first time ever, I decided not to take the kids somewhere for fear of how I would feel after. It was the 3rd rainy day in a row and I though maybe an indoor climbing playground would be fun, but the thought of chasing them up and down the ropes was too much for me to handle, so I decided not to go. I feel awful about it, and don't want to live my life not doing things with them for fear of pain.

Injection Scheduled

Sigh of relief!!!!! But the appointment is for next Tuesday, one week from today, but at least it is before I actually go in and see Dr. Kelly! So we can talk about it. It only took his office 24 hours to schedule this for me, do you think I am being unreasonable with all of my complaining?
Also, this injection is in a different location (not anatomical location, physical location, different office) than all my other ones have been, further leading me to believe that his office staff screwed up in the past when scheduling them.
My only concern is that I have theater tickets for that night, so I will not make a fun date (sorry Amy!!!), but the receptionist became edgy when I asked if there was an earlier appointment time available "You said Tuesdays and Thursdays are good for you", ok, I'll take it, I'll stop complaining!!!!!!

Time to Schedule Injection

If things have been comical up until now, this mornings incident will just add more fun! Maybe as a reader, you don't find things so funny, but from my point of view, if I don't laugh at all of this then I will cry, and it is really not something I want to cry about all the time!!
At 8:45 this morning, my cel phone rings, Dr. Kelly's office. It is his office manager, and she says "Hi, how can I help you?". Well, she really can't, unless she can magically fix this problem, decide I can have an injection, or do a total hip replacement on me (ok, bad idea..). She said "well, I have a message here that you called". yes, but not her...this is weird. "Oh, ok, what's your first name again?", didn't you just call me???? "What message did you want to leave for Dr. Kelly?", isn't it on the piece of paper where you got my number? The original message? "I want an injection, do you think you can get him that message today?", "well, I don't know if you can have the injection today, someone else makes the appointments and she has to call your insurance company", AHHHHHHHHHH that is not my question.....just please give him my message. This is going to have to be added to a previous post Incompetencies

He did just call me back, so I will call his office in a few minutes and schedule it!!!

It Can't Possibly Get Worse Than This

I am now officially done being positive for the day and time for a lot of negativity, aggression and downright complaining. You have been warned!

I will skip the emotional aspect of this bc I know no one really cares that I burst into tears for no apparent reason at inappropriate times, but the last 3 days have left me feeling desperate for answers as well as a solution.

It all started Fri morning, shortly after PT, and now looking back, I wonder if something we did precipitated this awful mess. My right ROM in hip flexion is 90-100 degrees, at which point I develop pinching in the groin. P tried some Mulligan mobs and was able to increase that number a lot. He also did a lot of psoas work. A few hours into my day, I started getting that all too familiar achy pain, which didn't go away. My pain has pretty much always been intermittent but the pain free periods have been coming less and less. Fri was no exception. By 1pm, I knew I needed to do something and that was when I decided on the injection (still haven't heard back).

Friday night was awful, the pain just never went away, I gave in and took 2 extra strength tylenols which helped a lot. I think Tylenol gets a rap for being a 'wimpy' drug, not strong, not helpful, but I have to disagree.

Saturday, I was stupid (again) and wore heels for a few hours in the morning, not my sexy shoes, but 3" platform wedges. Whoa, bad, bad idea. Pain all day. J was nice enough to let me nap for 3 hours in the day and watch the kids, I was physically and emotionally beat. I never realized what pain can do to ones psychological well-being until now.

After my 'power-nap', we took the kids to the park, then home for a bath and bed. I again, took my 2 extra-strength Tylenols, but this time, they didn't work. Shit. Now what? I really don't want to take narcotics for this, but I saw no choice, I was in that much pain. I have a total of 4 narcotics here, all left over from each surgery and my 'trial and error' period with each. If the phrase 'pick your poison' ever held truer, I would be shocked. Here were my choices: a)vicodin b)percoet c)ultram d)darvocet
And the winner is.....choice D, Darvocet. For the shear reason that I was not 100% sure what it would do to me, the last time I had taken it, I threw up multiple times but I didn't know if it was bc I had taken it on an empty stomach or if I was throwing up from the anesthesia.
Darvocet is still the winner in my book!! It did the trick and had no side effects, I was even able to carry a conversation afterwards!!

This brought us to Sunday. I woke up in pain, took 3 extra-strength Tylenol, they took the edge off, but not enough. Not quite 4 hours later, I took 3 more, still, not enough. I really, really didn't want to take Darvocet again, so I added 1 teeny tiny Aleve to the mix. If you have been a religious Goodnight Nobody reader, you would know that I cannot take any anti-inflammatories bc of other issues, but I needed something to get me through this. In the end, the Aleve helped a little more, but nothing was quite as good as the Darvocet. I am trying not to take them, not bc I am afraid I will run out (I have 59 left) but bc I don't want to feel like I have to rely on pain meds for this.

It was our anniversary yesterday (6 years) so J went out and bought ingredients to make my favorite drink, I figured this would be better than Darvocet! Looks like all those meds don't go well with alcohol, because I ended sicker than I would have been had I taken a Vicodin! Live and Learn!

7 weeks postop (almost)

To defelct from all the negativity I have been posting lately, here is my 7 week update on the left. For starters, it feels a heck of a lot better than the right. It is still slightly painful at times, but doing great. The psoas snaps on it, but that is more annoying than anything else, and once I realized it was the psoas, it was no longer alarming.

I still cannot run on it, and any attempt to run causes me to laugh hysterically. Imagine a limpy run! Not that I am actually attempting to run for exercise, but if the phone rings and I want to try to get it before voicemail picks up, doorbell rings, or if a kid runs away, it hurts a little bit to run, but it is funny how my body just doesn't allow for it yet.

When the psoas gets tight, my hip flexion ROM decreases, I have no explanation for this and it makes no sense at all to me. But when this happens, I will try some manual release stuff on it and then it will flex more (weird).

I cannot do any quick twisting, or quick anything on the hip, bc it causes a sharp pain, but nothing lasting too long.

Basically, I am very happy so far with the outcome on the left, and feel like it is doing better than the right was at 7 weeks out.

In PT, my routine consists of the following: Bike (10 min), isometric hip abduction/adduction against the wall, while standing on a dynadisc, squats with a black theraband around my knees while standing on the black side of the bosu ball, walking squats with the black theraband, closed chain ER on one leg, balancing on one leg on airex or dynadisc, standing hip 4 way with yellow or red theraband, bridging, isometric hip adduction supine (lying on back) squeezing a ball, hip abduction with black theraband supine, hip fallouts supine (like abduction, but only one leg at a time, really works on stability of non working leg), clam shells, seated ER/IR with theraband/ ball combination. I try to do the table exercises on my own at home because of time constraints, and pf course adjust the routine as needed due to pain on the right.

I Gave In

My 'game plan' lasted exactly 3 days, meaning, waiting as long as possible to get an injection. Today my pain was so awful I called to schedule an injection. Now I have to wait for Dr. Kelly's office to call me back....so hopefully by next month:-) Seriously, I hope to hear no later than Monday so I can proceed with this!

We just uploaded some more pics from our trip!!!

Family Vacation

Even though my 'hip life' is kind of in the dumps right now, everything else is great! Here are some highlights from our trip to Costa Rica last week!

Jk in the pool

My sister, Sandy, and L


L, Jeff (my brother), Sandy, me and Jk

Family pic
The Girls (Sandy, my mom and Me)

Let the Party Begin

Me and J

Yes, I wore heels, my sexy shoes to be exact, 4-5" heel!!!!

Highlights From My MRI

I am missing the last page of the MRI report (sound familiar), hopefully tomorrow I will be able to get it (sigh), nothing can be simple, ever!!!

To illustrate the absurdity of my life at times, the chinese delivery person no longer rings my doorbell or knocks on my door, rather, just pushes it open and announces her arrival. I guess she feels that being 'invited' over 3 times per week (at a minimum) has made her a part of our family, and she can simply come and go as she pleases! The doorman no longer calls up when she arives, not that we would turn away food, regardless of whether we had ordered it or not!!!

Ok, back to the MRI, once I have the full report, I will type it up and add it, in the meantime I will just point out the parts I found interesting. Both hips are observed on the scan.
Left hip (most recently operated on, not reason for MRI)- incidental note is made of a moderate amount of fluid in the left hip joint, not present on prior study on 1/07. In addition, mild high signal is demonstrated in the anterior margin of the proximal left gluteus medius and minimus muscle, without established muscular atrophy.
Right hip- mild bony offset at head-neck junction of the proximal right femur that may contribute to a cam-type femoroacetabular impingement. There is an attenuated and frayed anterior labrum, as well as a deficient anterosuperior labrum, without a displaced tear.
Progressive Chondral loss is seen in the interval since the prior study of 1/07 with focal small full thickness defect over the superomedial margin of the acetabular dome, adjacent to anterosuperior labral detachment. (Rest of cartilage looks good, no synovitis, muscles and tendons look good, nothing going on in the pelvis)

Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde

(yes, I had to google the spelling of that!)
I am back and forth, back and forth, and change my mind every hour, and sometimes minute, even seconds. Yes, I am definitely losing it...again (or still???)
I am not sure where I stand, and as Rachel pointed out, this gray area stinks!
I had a long sit down meeting with my 2 PTs, J and P to discuss this as well as the work issues. We agreed to really work the psoas for now, so P really did, all the way to the insertion, which is on the lumbar spine, and I felt good after.
What I had decided this morning was that for now, I will hold off on injecting anything, of course, I had minimal to no pain at the time! I want to try to really work on the psoas and see if it is really the issue. But now, as my pain level is slowly creeping up, I am yearning for an injection!
The nice thing for me is that the pain is intermittent, on the flip-side, when it doesn't hurt, I wonder if I am imagining the painful times, and I decide that I am crazy/ier!!!

I had P take strength and ROM measurements for me. The left side is doing well, almost all back to pre-op levels. Right side has lost strength and ROM since the last time we measured, around 7 weeks ago. I am going to aggressively strengthen over the next few weeks and see if I can build it up again, and try not to give in to an injection too quickly!

He Called...finally

So after 2 messages an email, and a conversation with his PA (unrelated to this issue) he called me!!
Here's the deal....the MRI report shows a fraying of the labrum, when comparing the MRI images to the scope pics, he says it is normal, and in the area of the debridement. There is no large flap or loose body in the joint. There is no sign of synovitis, but it is usually not reported, and there is some fluid around the psoas. There is also some loss of cartilage in the area of the original tear, which apparently we knew about after the surgery (I don't recall this though).

I can get the psoas injected if I so desire, at the time of our conversation, I was in no pain, now of course I am!! I told him I would prefer to have the joint injected, since I think that is where my pain is, and that I will call him when I go back to work since that is what has been causing me the most pain. I will decide then.
As for now, I am unsure what this all means. Obviously, a frank, obvious retear would be devastating, but I am pretty sure it is not my psoas.
I have PT tomorrow morning, I will have P really check everything out and we can come to a decision (hopefully together!!) about what to do next!

Work Hardening

I can be one of those commercials they used to show on TV, persuading young girls not to get pregnant, I think it went something like "baby, it changes everything". Why am I saying this? I am in the hotel room trying to get Jk to take a nap, not enjoying the pool!! Thats ok, I was ready for a baby, or 2!! Actually, travelling with kids has its perks, we got to skip the whole security line in Newark, and got to go in the "special services" line at Immigration! I have even gotten away with 'breaking the law' numerous times. Since the initiation of the 'no liqiuds' rule, things have been a little difficult when travelling with the kids. Especially the 'no ice' rule. But we travel with tons of food and snacks and milk....so I always throw in a few bags of ice, whats the worst that can happen, they will throw them away. But no, I get special treatment. All you have to do is look at me at the end of the security line, 2 kids, 2 strollers, carseat, no one is wearing shoes (yes, L and Jk need thier shoes screened as well), a diaper bag, a rollaway bag, J and his stuff, plus J putting his laptop away, his belt back on and trying to reconfigure the strollers....I usually look a tad frazzled by this point. I think the TSA officials are usually afraid to even question what type of liquid is in the sippy cup, and heaven forbid try to take my ice, for fear that I may hurt them. In the past, they have pulled me aside and quietly said "I am letting you keep the ice bags but don't tell anyone". I tend to invoke unwarranted sympathy!! The same thing happenned when checking into the airport on Wed. J went to park and left me with the kids + 6 pieces of luggage + 2 strollers+ 1 car seat, but with all 4 passports. The agent allowed me to check J in, even though he wasn't there, plus didn't charge me for the 5 lbs of overweight luggage I had, and even lied to the baggage handler about having charged me!!

Ok, so that is a quick explanation of why I have time for a long post now! Since returning to work, my right hip has been painful, and in fact, working causes pain. One of the first things they teach you in PT school is not to hurt yourself while treating (of course, first they teach 'do no harm'). So having good body mechnaics is key. If I am working on ROM, lets say, I will stand with one leg in front of the other, and shift my weight front and back, using my whole body for the ROM, not just my arms. In theory, this is great, except now, my hip gets the brunt of the work and seems to be the weakest link in my body! Sometimes, I will get up on a treatment table for certain things, if I decide to sit back on my heels, I may see stars from the sheer amount of pain shooting through the joint. I am not sure what to do about it, clearly hurting my back or shoulder to compensate for not being able to use my hips is out of the question, as is not working. I have to experiment with shoe choice, I did not wear my Danskos this week everyday (I know, fashion cannot always dictate), and my ballet slippers offer no support whatsoever (but are so cute!).

There are certain cases that need PT and need work hardening, for example, people who lift heavy loads, or work heavy machinery, they need to be trained to safely resume their normal work activities. This is not something I specialize in, nor something my practice specializes in (except my boss, but he doesn't know what is going on!!!), and returning to work as a PT does not fall into the same category as training the UPS man to carry 100lb boxes!!

(I again apologize for the spelling, I will do a retroactive spellcheck when I return to NY)

Missed Calls

You guessed it! He called! Now that I have no cell phone service! Of course he didn't say what the MRI showed...ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!

On vacation

I am in Costa Rica, with no cell phone service! I checked my voicemail last night...no new messages!! Ok, this is really dragging along. I think if by next Tuesday I dont have an answer, I will personally go down to HSS and break into the MRI department and steal my films, although if they are my films, is it technically stealing???

Also, my internet connection is sooooo slow, so I don't know how often I will be posting. My newest "issue" is that working really hurts my right hip, so P will have to come up with some good "work hardening" solutions next week. If I have time later, I will ellaborate!!!
(spell check is not working, it thinks I am writing in spanish so my whole document is highlited in yellow, my apologies for any errors!)

Venting...again

HE DIDN'T CALL AGAIN!
I called and left a message today (thanks for the prompting Jess!!), now I am in desperation mode...I need to know! to make matters worse, I am going out of town tomorrow, and am not sure if I will have cell phone service where I am going, so this will bring me to a week from today for finding out! (cover your ears) AAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

Ok, I feel a little better now that I got that out!!! So, how am I doing? I can't do a straight leg raise...still. I had PT today, and P checked out the SLR issue. I feel pathetic enough about this whole situation, but not being able to do a SLR is just icing on the cake!! Usually, my patients who have trouble with SLR are 90 year old ladies who have had knee replacements!

So P had to help my leg move! And, I could not complete the downward cycle of the SLR because at about 30', I begin to get very unstable in the joint, it feels like the femoral head is jumping inside the joint. P thought maybe my rotators were still too weak to stabilize the joint, so we did some IR/ER exercises and tried the SLR again. One full SLR, up and down, with minimal problems! Whoohoo!! It worked! Great, we both said, then time for SLR #2, my leg wouldn't go!! P tried to help it up, but it just collapsed down to the table, amidst crazy giggling from me. Time to feel pathetic again!

My homework for my vacation is to work on hip flexion in the water, how exciting!!!

My left side was in awful pain last night, which raised my anxiety level just a touch!!! It turned out to be severe muscle tightness, mainly TFL and adductors. I put some lotion on my fingertips and gently glided the length of the tendons for a few minutes, this did the trick! I am unable to inflict upon myself the pain I would inflict upon my own patient with these symptoms, or the pain I knew P would be inflicting upon me this morning, but my pseudo muscle release was enough to allow me to sleep last night!!

Ahhhhhhh

He.


Didn't.


Call.


Me.

Field Trip

I have been dreading today for quite some time now, J has had a business trip planned and is out of town, I am alone, with both kids, on a weekend! But they are now both in bed, asleep from their adventurous day!

We are going away this week, we have a wedding, Jk and L are walking down the aisle. L needed dress shoes, so I decided to be brave and take them both to the city. In my head, I was going to find a great parking spot, walk in, buy the first shoe she tried on, and be on my way! Again, I was way wrong!! Everything seemed to be going well, we found a parking spot 3 blocks away, and it was free! But the store was closed. The next closest store was 14 blocks away, and I did not have my double stroller. L was such a trooper and walked both ways without a single complaint! I did have to bribe her with ice cream, but she walked a total of 28 city blocks, and she is 3. That means I also walked a total of 28 city blocks, as I am writing this, I have no pain!

I did make an interesting discovery though. Since most of my readers are in similar situations as me, I have found us a wonderful solution for mobility. Since we are probably all on the younger side, because we did not opt initially for a hip replacement, looking cool is a big deal to us! Eventually, we will probably all need new hips, and begin to lose mobility. Rather than rely on a cane, walker or wheelchair, we can all buy this:

I saw a woman riding one in the city, either it needs a better braking mechanism, or she needed to learn to drive it, but with a little tweaking it can be the ride of choice for 'hipsters of the future'!

As I am moving forward, I used our treadmill today for the first time! The treadmill generated a huge argument in my household, I did not want it. I will never be able to run on a treadmill, for the rest of my life, if I want to preserve my ever so fragile hips!! I don't need a treadmill to walk, I walk outside...alot! J insisted that he would use the treadmill everyday, I insisted that he would not, and I would not, and it would become a clothes hanger. I was wrong. He uses it occasionally, I never have though, it came in the interim between my 2 surgeries. But today, I actually used it. No, I didn't run, or even jog! I used it for a total of 3 minutes and 41 seconds! I did my side squats on an incline on it! It really hurt my right hip, hence the short amount of time! But I plopped L in front of the TV to buy some time and do my exercises.

I came to a shocking discovery, I cannot do a straight leg raise on my operated leg. I know the protocol says no straight leg raises (SLR) for 4 weeks, tomorrow is 5 weeks, but I could not lift my darn leg. I finally squeezed hard enough, somehow pulled the femur in close to my body (or at least it felt like that) and lifted it a few inches. I will have my PT watch me do it this week and report on what he sees, since my account of it from the floor may no be so accurate. It also really hurt to even attempt a SLR. Prior to surgery, I could do no more than 5 or 10 without severe pain, my right leg can do 8-10 at a time, and then it gets weak and painful. Hopefully, in the near future, I will be able to do 20, consecutively!

TGIF

This week is finally over, I can't remember the last time I felt this drained on a Friday, but between returning to work, stressing over the MRI, and stressing even more over the results, I am ready to kick back!! The truth is, it is easier for me to kick back on a weekday, since my nanny is around. After today, I will be on my own until Monday. Well, J will be around tonight and tommorrow, but he is going on a business trip on sunday morning :-(

I had more pain this week than I did last week, which is understandable, yet slightly depressing, as I would like my pain to continue decreasing over time, but I can't expect this level of activity to help much. My right hip has been on again, off again. There are times when it is fine, and other times, like today, when I wanted Percocet. I was at work, and was kneeling, sitting on my heels, that is a new, deadly position for the right hip. I ended up with awful, excruciating pain for a while, hence my desire for Percocet. The left is painful too, I almost feel the raw bone rubbing (sorry, that is so gross), but I notice a difference in the quality of pain from side to side. The right side is a general, joint pain, very achy. The left is a more specific, focal area, also in the joint, but not as widespread as the right. I imagine the 2 bones rubbing together over the area where the labrum was debrided...eeewwww!!!

I am having company for dinner tonight, first time since the surgery I have any type of company. Everything is now pretty much done, I need to go out to buy ingredients for a salad...but I am so tired....I think we will do without!!!

Quick Update

I have nothing new or interesting to report. I called Dr. Kelly's office, and yes, they have my MRI report, they will put it on his desk, but he is out of town until Monday. AAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!! I am soooooo frustrated, I thought that I would have a definite answer before the weekend, now I have to wait until Monday at the earliest. What is the most annoying part is that someone knows what is going on in my hip...just not me!!

My left hip has been giving me some trouble this week, probably due to the fact that I am back at work, out for walks, and chasing kids. It is very sore, and painful at times. The muscles are also REALLY tight now, but this happened last time as well, around 4 weeks I developed a lot of muscular issues. I don't think it is as bad this time. I need to slow down a bit though. I still cannot run. I just came from the pool, Jk ran away from me towards the big pool, I though he was going to jump right in, I 'ran' to get him, he stopped right at the edge, and picked up a toy he had seen! It really really hurt me to chase him, not I am dealing with the residual soreness from the "event". It is so hard to back down once you have begun to resume a life of normalcy, I missed it so much, but I don't want to hurt myself!

Incompetencies

I am now waiting to get my MRI results. Having experienced many times the way Dr Kelly's office staff works, I anticipate this to be a long and drawn out process. Nothing huge has ever happened with them, but so many little things, it makes you wonder.
-When I called to make my first appointment ever, the receptionist didn't want to give me one as my injury was not 'sports related'...how many of you actually tore your labrum playing sports? Luckily, I insisted on speaking with his PA who said "definitely come in"
-His PA called me with my first MRI results, I really wanted to speak with him, I left 2 messages....heard nothing, until I sent him an email, heard within 45 minutes (it was nice to bypass his office staff)
-When I was being discharged from the hospital after my first surgery, my Gameready was nowhere to be found...someone forgot to order it for me
-I scheduled my post-op appointment at the same time I scheduled my surgery, when I arrived at 12 days post-op, on crutches, brace, and soaked from an icy rain, I was informed that he was in his 'other' office, 2 blocks away. When I arrived there, they could not find my appointment for the day, and were unsure of what to do, as his schedule was booked. I informed the man at the desk that I was not leaving until someone removed my sutures!
-After my second MRI, it took 3 phone calls to get through to him to call me with the results
-I wanted a copy of the MRI report, it took 3 days to have it faxed over, and multiple phone calls
-Luckily, all of my pre-op requests for my second surgery went through, including time of surgery, anesthesia and post-op meds
-I am eligible for temporary disability, but your doctor must fill out some paperwork. His PA did it for me the first time, and there was no issue, this time, I specifically faxed it to her, but it was intercepted by his office manager, who called to ask me, 4 days post-op, when I was going back to work, so she would know how long to write on the form. I explained that I was hoping to be back in 4 weeks, but Arianna had filled it out for 3 months last time, so she should do the same, just in case 4 weeks was not enough. She answered me with a snotty "well, then we can fill out an extension". Why bother with more paperwork, just fill it out for 3 months, and we don't have to worry about it anymore. The story doesn't end here (are you surprised). In my fax, I had included a note that said please fax back to me. A fax never showed up at my office. So I called, sigh, they couldn't find it, so they 'must have' mailed it to me. It never showed up in my mailbox, sigh, so another phone call, I am going to fax it to you, again, please have it ready for me, I will be in the office tomorrow, to which I got a reply of "I will do my best", as opposed to "I am so sorry I never filled your request, it will be ready tomorrow". I arrived at the office, and it was ready, filled out for 4 weeks of disability. I did end up going back to work at 4 weeks, but, sigh, nonetheless!!
-To schedule my 3rd MRI, at first, they tried scheduling it in the wrong facility, then, gave me an appointment almost a week later. I ended up calling the MRI department and rescheduling myself.
-When I arrived for my MRI, they had forgotten to fax over the prescription
-2 weeks to get the message through to call me with my 3rd MRI results
-When I finally decided that I wanted an injection (right side, 6 months out), I left a message and the office manager called me to see "how she could help me", uh, not at all, please have the dr call me
-At the time of this post, almost 24 hours have passed since I called to have the dr office schedule my injection, waiting to hear back from them
-Another injection nightmare, when we decided to inject my psoas, I got a call from the receptionist early the next day, I was impressed, they took initiative. I told her when I wanted it, she said she would call back with a time. 2 days went by, I called her back, she was going to have the other receptionist call me bc she is actually the one who books it with the radiologist, another day, I called back and asked to speak with receptionist #2, she was surprised I was calling bc receptionist #1 told her she had called me and confirmed the appt. Plus it was the wrong date. She corrected the error, and I thought everything was all good. Until the radiologist called and left me a message saying he wanted to make sure I wanted the 'other' appt, bc there had been some reschedulings done, it worked out and I got the day I wanted.
-So...sigh, nothing huge, but a lot of little things which add up to a lot of frustration!