I have lost some steam at this point, and am at a standstill. I did receive my MRI's on disc yesterday, and have yet to call the doc in Boston for an appt/ remote consult. I guess I am telling myself that I am waiting for my CT scan, which will be tomorrow, and once I have that as well, I will move forward. I don't even have a follow-up appt scheduled with Dr. Kelly. I guess all of this is still sinking in and I am getting used to the idea that despite all of my long hours of research, journal articles, emails... I still have FAI in my hip.
I hate not having a plan. This is the hardest thing for me, but I am scared shitless to go back on crutches for any amount of time since both times, crutches landed me in surgery. Ok, obviously, the first time there was FAI already in my hip, and the crutches were the 'straw that broke the camel's back', oh, but that was the case after the second surgery too. So now what???
I know there are no answers, but I need to VENT.
Since I am venting, and you have stuck with me up to this point (feel free to stop reading if you are sick of the complaining), my right hip really hurts. It hurt all day at work, then, I went to (surprise) Target, and pushing the shopping cart is agonizing.
Still with me? I understand now the psychological aspect of pain, which is probably why I am relating very well to my patients. I was just 'commended' on how good my stats are at work and how quickly after my surgery my schedule filled up again. I am going away (again) this week and I know that some of my patients will not be in until I get back, they will not see another therapist.
So, to put a positive spin on this, I am the queen of hips! I love treating hip pathology, and I love giving other's advice on how to treat their patients with hip pathology, as much as they appreciate my personal experience with it. I am soooooo sick of PT though, I am into my sixth month, ugh! I need a break, which I took last week! I am ready to be discharged, for good! Only I know I have at least another 3 months coming my way! (sorry, I got negative again).
The good thing is that just as easily as I have had a bunch of bad days, I may begin to have a bunch of good days at any point now. I do need a plan soon though, I am not a waiter, as you can tell with my surgery decisions up to this point.
I will stop rambling now, hopefully, my next post will be more helpful to the general public!
3 comments:
Susie -
your venting & ranting is not a drag or a downer for me as a blog reader, surprisingly. In fact I noticed that since you gave a heads-up about what was coming in the next few sentences, the negativity didn't bother me a bit! = quite a different experience for me as a listener than it is when hearing this kind of thing in an oral conversation, where I sometimes wonder "how long is this going to go on? am I stuck listening to this?," etc. So don't worry about being more useful to the general public!!
oo
KT
I second what KT says! Not a downer at all - good to have someone who can relate to my own frustrations. Besides, the negative stuff is just as legitimate as the positive when working through the whole recovery process.
I was meaning to e-mail you, but was going through such a frustrating time (scheduling surgery etc- finally got a date yessterday!) that I was afraid I'd be the downer!
Thanks guys!
I was speaking to someone last night about this, and he said, you know, you should take this medicine to improve your mood. No. I need to fix the underlying problem in my hip to improve my mood!
I was at preschhol today and my friends wanted to take the kids for pizza, but I couldn't go bc I, again, have an appt today, this time for my CT! I just want life to be normal again!
Rachel- congrats on setting a date! Drop me an email, I would love to hear abt it!
We are going away tomorrow so I will be offline until Sat. night!
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