Wednesday, April 2, 2008
Is it Real or Am I Crazy??
Again with the fucking intermittent pain. This time, I can go a day and half with not even a twinge of pain in my knee, making me "this close" to cancelling my OS appointment in 2 weeks, and then one tiny misstep or walk down a step the wrong way, and bam, pain, and the ever pleasant "squooshiness" in my knee. I know there is a ton of psychology playing here, mainly the fact that I am praying for this to disappear, and I really really want to cancel my appointment, not lose a whole afternoon/ evening in a waiting room, pay a fortune for parking and then get stuck in rush hour traffic, all for nothing. I know, ridiculous. You are probably thinking "susie, just go for the appointment, what is your problem?" well, a lot. First, I think I have a fear of being told nothing is wronfg if I do in fact think there is something wrong, and I wouldn't be going to the appointment if I didn't think something was wrong. So, if I cancel it, it is because I no longer think anything is wrong and then I will be happy once again, and have "great joints". It stinks to think you know a lot but really, not know anything, and on top of it, have schizophrenic joints. Knee, please stop hurting and making my readers think I am a nut job. Please take the cues from my hips and behave yourself.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
4 comments:
Hey Susie,
you know you have to go to the appointment hun. Don't let it play on your mind, if it hurts, there is something wrong, even if it's not constant. I'm sorry you're having to deal with this on top of everything else, it's like someone has a voodoo doll or something! Chin up, keep the appointment because if you cancel it you know the pain will come back and you will have to start again with making appointments and have to wait longer to get in!
Susie,
I feel your pain! I'm looking at my third hipscope on my right hip next month to FINALLY debride the labrum; the attempted repairs just haven't worked. My latest hip MRI also shows illiopsoas bursitis, so I may need to have that bursa removed and/or a partial release (and I share your anti-release sentiments). On top of that, the latest MRI shows denervation of part of my TFL; Dr. Sampson has never seen this before (and he has seen A LOT of hip patients), so I'm freaking out. Hopefully that is just mild weakness that may get better over time, and at least it isn't the whole muscle, but apparently the scope went through that muscle during surgery. I hope that was the cause and its not a problem with the entire superior gluteal nerve! Tack on some kind of stress-related change in my talus bone on the right side which has caused me excruciating pain. MRI 3 months ago was unclear as to whether there was a stress fracture line or not, and I've been wearing a lace up boot and basically weightbearing as little as humanly possible without being on crutches full-time and that hasn't improved at all! So I need another MRI there to see what is going on, and may need a bone stimulator or, gasp, maybe surgery to insert a pin...or if its just bone marrow edema, then who knows....WHY DO WE KEEP GETTING SUCH BAD LUCK?!?! I feel like you where it seems like people will think I'm crazy, but sadly this is just the reality of my stinky chronically painful life! :(
go to the appt. get the stupid mri. and then you can decide later if you want it fixed. then you will be able to move on. you aren't crazy...there are a lot of us outhere that know that one thing leads to another. besides...i am most certain dr. kelly misses you already!!! :)
soccermom
I know, I know, sigh! But the pain was so tolerable today!!! :-)
I have a continuing ed this weekend, exercise based, we'll see how I hold up! I will keep the appt but I know I will feel like this until I go, changing my mind every second!
Laura- that completely stinks. I used to be pro-repair, but soon changed my mind after my surgery when I knew nothing else could go wrong. Had I had a repair, it would always worry me that it would give out. I don't think repair will prevent arthritis any less than a debridement.And why do these surgeons always want to lengthen tendons???
The scope could have damaged the nerves, but hopefully only temporarily and the muscle will work again. I think you beat me in the bad luck department. I hope #3 is a success and you can move on from the hip shit.
Post a Comment