I am No Longer a Drop-Out, I am a 'Crawler Backer'

Today is the one year anniversary of my first appointment with Dr. Kelly. Who would have thought that after a long argument with his receptionist 13 months ago, who almost refused to give me an appointment because my injury was not 'sports related', that I would be recovering from not 1, not 2, but 3 surgeries...all done by him. I told you so!!!!

I have been busy the past few days, J and I are going away for the weekend, without the kids. We are going on a weekend cruise to the Bahamas, and my in-laws are watching L and Jk. I have been furiously cleaning up he apartment, not cleaning cleaning, but putting things away.Like all of my maternity clothes which were stacked on our treadmill, someone wanted to borrow 1 shirt, so I had to pull all of it out, and then repack it. The desk is a mess, , my Spinning Bike is in the way.......basically make it look like I didn't have surgery 7 weeks ago and my nanny is really not on vacation!

I had to return to PT. To add insult to injury, P said 'I knew you would be back...it was only a matter of time.' I think I am hitting my 7-8 week dip.This has happened in the past, I regress for a while but eventually do come back.I have been having a lot of muscular pain, mostly adductors and TFL, maybe some psoas and occasional piriformis spasms (nice). My anterior capsule is also pretty tight, this is why I developed a limp a few days ago, I have lost extension, yet again. Since this was a sudden decision, I had to go in today, on a day I don't normally work. Even though P really mobed the heck out of it, I am tight. He also worked my psoas, iliacus, adductors and stretched my hip flexors. I am typing in bed, and just took half of a Darvocet to take the edge off. Just a reminder...the last time I took a painkiller was post-op Day 2. I am not a happy camper...plus I have to begin (and finish) packing for my trip.

I received a call form one of Dr.Kelly's people yesterday, I was supposed to call them at 6 weeks post-op to report on my progress. We discussed the tenderness issue, and she said it sounded like a 'nerve thing'. She said they don't write for Lidocaine patches, but she will discuss it with him.I told her that he had said that if the nerve issues got bad, he could give me Lyrica...which I DON'T want. She admitted that she doesn't think it works anyway!!! I am waiting to hear back...no call today though...surprise surprise!!!

I am a little bit nervous since I am exactly where I was after scope #2 when the post-op pain got really really bad. Hopefully this won't happen...but I am taking Darvocet on the cruise!

Joy rides Are Not Always followed by Joy

I am dealing with the aftermath of last night's ride. It clearly exacerbated my thigh pain thing. Plus, I was/ am pretty tight today. I am actually considering crawling back to PT!! We had a busy day today, since all the malls and stores were open, we went shopping. By the time we got to Target (store #3, after the mall), I was limping. I was not really in pain, but my gait was funky. I am skipping my bike tonight since I am not sure what tomorrow will bring and will reassess tomorrow!

My 1 Year Anniversary

Today marks the 1 year anniversary of when my hip saga began. For anyone just beginning their journey, I can assure you that in the hands of the right surgeon, there is a light at the end of the tunnel. I am going to do a flashback to November 28, 2006.

Shit, my hip hurts. It hurts when I drive, and especially when I push the kids in the double stroller. It is a really annoying pain. It feels like something is in my joint. My friend/ PT is coming into work around 3, I will ask her to work on it and hopefully get some relief. She showed up and I told her I was dying of pain, she did a painful release on my iliacus/psoas, I felt better immediately, but in the car on my way home, things got bad again.

I went into work the next day, again, in agony. First I had one therapist stretch my hip flexors and ITB, thinking this may help. Then I had another one check it out. She said there is definitely some kind of impingement. Then I asked P for help. He was really busy so I waited until he was done seeing patients. What makes the day so memorable is that it was Jk's 1st birthday, and I was having a small dinner party, and lacking a few key ingredients. I used P's full schedule to run to the supermarket near my office but didn't find what I was looking for (which I now don't even remember what it was). P did all kinds of releases, ART, mulligan mobs...It felt good...until I was in my car again. Shit. What is this????

I got home, L had ballet and there was no food for my party! I ended up ordering pizza, Jk didn't know the difference! After we had cleaned up and the kids were in bed, I hit the computer. I had a feeling I had a labral tear, and the word impingement reverberated through my head. I think I first looked for a surgeon, before I did anything else, that is me, always thinking ahead! I was trying to remember when I had seen a hipscope, and who did them, and no one was popping into my head. At the time, there was a hipscope patient in my office and she was a wealth of information, but I wasn't willing to see her surgeon (he was in NJ), I knew it had to be someone at HSS. So I looked and searched, and researched labral tears, FAI.....Not just that night, but every night after that for weeks. After a week or 2, I decided this wasn't getting and made an appointment with Dr.Kelly. I was between him and another surgeon. I had emailed a professor of mine about this and he had recommended against the other surgeon for personal reasons. So Dr.Kelly it was. If things didn't go well, then I would pursue other options, it was just a consult, right. Hopefully he would order an MRI and get to the bottom of this. The rest is history....but in a nutshell...

3/5/07 R hip arthroscopy, Pincer impingement, labral tear debridement, synovectomy
7/2/07 L hip arthroscopy, Cam and Pincer impingement, labral tear debridement, synovectomy
11/12/07 R hip revision arthroscopy, Cam impingement, removal of scar tissue, synovectomy, upon examination, found to have beautiful psoas

11/28/07 Riding high on life (bc everything else makes me sick) and enjoying a painfree lifestyle, looking forward to ditching my single crutch very very soon! :-)

Details, Details,Details Part 2

As promised, here is the rest of the 'story'.

So the last thing I remember is the anesthesiologist asking me to sit up and then passing out. I am really scared of spinal needles, I have horrific memories of the pain of the spinal before my c-section and the epidural during childbirth with Jk, I like that I was out fr it during my first 2 scopes and wanted the same this time.

I was awakened in the OR, I think, and I asked what time it was, someone said 10:30, and then I fell back asleep. I remember waking up in the PACU again, maybe Dr.Kelly had come to speak to me as I really made it clear that I wanted to speak with him before going home. He had told me to make sure not to leave, plant my feet and don't move, until he came out of surgery!!! He tried to show me the scope pics and some x-rays, but seriously, he could have been telling me about the football game from the day before, he did say something about scar tissue and the cam bump, then I fell asleep. My spinal began wearing off and my pain was bad. I was given some Dilaudid, I slept some more. Then the PA from pre-op came to check on me, I remember saying 'I need pain meds', which got everyone jumping. The nurse said she had given me all the Dilaudid ordered, so did I want to try and eat something and take Percocet since she would have to ask the anesthesiologist if I could have more Dilaudid, and he was in surgery. I'm sure by now you can guess what my response was: "Page Him." So she did, and I got my drugs! I slept more, and more. I think I ate some crackers at some point and drank some gingerale to take the Percocet, then I slept more, I was really really lightheaded and dizzy. I don't remember if I got more Dilaudid after that. Dr. Kelly came back again, he asked if I remembered speaking to him earlier, I said yes, but I didn't remember what he said. HE told me again...took down the cam, scar tissue, and the psoas was fine 'you were right, I'm glad I listened to you.' He also said had he done my left hip first, he would have done the same on the right, cam and pincer in one shot. I asked, 'so I am not crazy', to which he replied 'that I can't say!' While he was there, he checked my dressing and decided to change it bc my incisions had ozzed I guess, I was in no condition to really care though. The nurse also requested he order more fluids since I had all that Dilaudid.Then I fell asleep again.I just couldn't stay awake but I really wanted to get out of there and go home. I finally called over my nurse, who btw, was incredible, she took great care of me! I told her to get me up, I want to go home! she asked if I was sure, she was nervous bc I was so lightheaded. I said we'll take it slow. So first she sat up the bed, then I sat on the edge for a while, I was close to the fine line between passing out and not, but I made it. She had to take out the epidural catheter from my back, then I transferred to a reclining chair on wheels. I was taken to the bathroom, you cannot be discharged without demonstrating that you can urinate. in the past, by the time I get out of bed, I am ready to explode, this time I wasn't, but I knew I had had a lot f fluid. I got to the bathroom and had no urge to go, but sort of forced myself to. I had a FULL bladder, so it was weird to not have any sensation. I mentioned it to the nurse but she thought nothing of it. The same happened when Jk was born...it resolved. I was then taken to Phase 2 of recovery where you get dressed and have PT. They left in my IV because I didn't look too hot! I now know the PT's and they were really nice to me. I got dressed and took a short trip around with my crutches and was allowed to be discharged! It was around 4:00 I think, surgery was at 8AM! There was another one of Dr. Kelly's patients in phase 2, he obviously had his surgery after mine since I was first, and we were being discharged at the same time! I would make a terrible drug addict, I would be too tired and sick to enjoy the high!! I guess that's a good thing. J picked me up in the car and we went to CVS for my drugs.

I made it into CVS but began feeling lightheaded, so I sat down. CVS was out of Percocet, I kid you not, and hadn't filled my Zofran bc it was for 20 pills but my insurance only covers 12. We got the 12 and went home sans Percocet, but I had some leftover from last time. Good thing I keep a nice stash!! I inhaled a Zofran in the car and made it home with no incident!

I spent most of the rest of the day in bed. I went to the bathroom shortly after arriving home, I looked at my leg, shit, the bandage had soaked all the way through with blood. This had never happened, I guess that's why he changed it earlier. I called and spoke with Dr. Kelly, he said to have J go buy gauze and tape, change the dressing and apply pressure. We changed it and I fell asleep. Arianna called around 9 to check on me, I think it had stopped bleeding, she said numb up my hip and sleep on that side to apply more pressure. It worked, it hasn't bled since.

I woke up around 10:45 needing a Percocet, J brought me some soup and I had the pill, was up for a bit and fell back asleep. I guess I am making up for all the nights the last few weeks. I no longer have anxiety, obviously it was over this, my blood pressure yesterday morning was 140/82, way too high for me!

I think we are in the clear, other than some serious butt pain from the traction, I have only surgical pain, no 'groin pain'. I will definitely keep you posted in my usual fashion!!!

Some More Tidbits

I am copying the email I sent out earlier to the 'groups' and adding some more details.

Hi everyone!I am home and resting after my revision hip arthroscopy ( bringing me to a total of 3 scopes). My worst fear was that there was really nothing wrong, and I was 'making this up'. My second worse fear was that my OS would be right and that this was all psoas. We had a lot of discussions/ arguments over this and finally settled on him promising not to do any type of release on my psoas.Well, to my surprise (not really), my psoas was fine, it is nice to actually hear a surgeon say 'you were right, I'm glad I listened to you'. He did shave down any residual cam impingement (pincer had been taken care of in scope #1). Being that I am argumentative and stubborn, I have gotten away with coming home with no cpm or gameready this time, my kids use the CPM as a ride-on toy and the gameready is just annoying for anyone taking care of me to use. I promised to be compliant and ride my bike and ice with regular ice.So...I had a large cam decompression, scar tissue removal, synovectomy (he said the joint was really inflamed). I think the labrum was fine, there were some adhesions I think....we spoke twice but I was really drugged, I will get the op report as soon as I can. He also said something about the cartilage being soft. I woke up and once my spinal had begun to wear off I was in awful pain, worse than any other surgery. I maxed out on the prescribed amount of dilaudid so the nurse had to page the anesthesiologist to see if I could have more. I was also given zofran and pepcid for nausea in the OR, and zofran to take home.I was still REALLY nauseous earlier. I also had a lot of drainage from my incisions, had to have the dressing changed once in the PACU and when I got home it had soaked through again and changed it again.As I am writing, my husband just said that he saw the before and after x-rays of the femur, before looked like 'rocky mountains' and after was nice and smooth.The pain is there but the hip is moving well, I think I attribute this to some serious pre-op PT. I went in really strong.Before I continue rambling in my percocet/ dilaudid induced blur, I will stop!Thanks to everyone who has been there to listen to me vent and complain and tell me I'm not crazy!!!

Thats the email. It is 12:30AM. I slept a few hours earlier, then I woke up and needed percocet, so J brought me some chicken soup to eat first. Percocet and empty stomach don't go well. I am also popping Colace like candy. The Percocet makes me extremely dizzy and lightheaded, but it is the better alternative to Vicodin, which makes me throw up like a madwoman. I haven't taken another Zofran yet, I probably will in the morning. I am feeling itchy all over, I will do a quick search on the meds they gave me and see what the deal is. My thigh is numb in the quad area. I will see what else is numb in the AM when I remove the dressing to shower (shhh). There are 3 incisions, I cant tell if they are over the old scope sites, I asked Dr. Kelly but don't remember what he said. I hope I can sleep tonight.
I am also having bladder issues. I am not having the urge to pee, even when I know I have to bc I drank a ton.I sort of knew right away bc in the pas I ahve woken up from surgery and really have to pee, this time no urge and they ad t hang an extra IV bag to be of the extra Dilaudid. I finally went to the bathroom and sort f had to force myself to pee, alot came out but with not a lot of force. Something similar happened when Jk was born, it resolved on its own in time, and I am sure this will too, but it is just one more annoyance for me at this point.
I think that is all I can think of for now!

A Pain in the Butt...in every possible way

Being that my mom left, and I was in no hurry to cook and deal with the kids on my own, I thought maybe coming to my in-laws for the weekend would be a good idea. Let me remind you, I live in New York (in a suburb right outside NYC), in an apartment, with an elevator and doorman. My in-laws live in Boston, about a 3 hour car ride, in a house, with 3 floors, and lots of steps.

Everything was going well yesterday, I walked L to and from camp, walked to the bank, to the nail salon, to the drugstore, all with one crutch, but I was on top of the world, for sure by tomorrow, I thought to myself, I can lose the crutch.

So we began our drive, we were doing great, the kids were behaving, about 30 miles before we got here, traffic came to a standstill, and practically stayed like that for 2 1/2 hours. We were on the highway with nowhere to go, my biggest fear was that L would have to use the bathroom, but she did great!


So our 3 hour car trip turned into a 5 1/2 hour car trip, needless to say, I did not practice what I preach, and remained sitting the whole time. When we arrived, I was STIFF!

Next came the exploration! Jk was running circles around us, he was just so happy to be out of the car, then he found the steps. This is when things got ugly for me. I really never have any need to do steps, I live on a high floor so never consider walking, my office has no steps and Target has an escalator (this is why America has such a high obesity rate, but I digress!) Stairs are really hard for me. And up and down numerous times was awful. I dumped my crutch when we got in the house, but desperately needed it for going up the stairs. By the time we sat down for dinner, I was in excruciating pain, but more on the right side (first hip). I was panicking, the pain was so intense, like pre-injection intense. I wanted to cry, out of pain but as well as fear. By the time I put Jk to bed, I had real tears, but kept them to myself, as I only express my "hip emotions" here!

By bedtime, both sides hurt, my gait was awful, I really needed to be using the crutch, but it is so annoying in the house, especially with kids (I know, again, not practicing what I preach), so my back started hurting because of the way I was walking/ compensating/ twisting.

This morning, I felt better, but soon all my bad habits came out, no crutch, up and down the steps... right hip pain, left hip pain, low back pain, piriformis pain. That one is new. I think my SI joint became a little rotated, which for me, causes my piriformis to spasm, you can tell that so far, the trip has been lovely. I will get into more details about why I was up and down the steps when I get home.

I have also been exhausted since I got here! I napped this morning for 2 hours while Jk did, then dozed off again in the afternoon. I have been tired since surgery, and early on had a scheduled nap each day! By late afternoon, I couldn't take the pain anymore and took Tylenol, this is big for me, I am not into pills, I prefer pain, as long as I am not in tears, like today. I find that in my case, I take something (these days nothing other than Tylenol), I feel better, I overdo it, and end up with more pain later so it is not worth it. Pain is your body sending you a signal that you are overdoing it.

I know I need to be on that crutch, I actually feel so good in comparison when I am on it, then when I am not. We walked to the park today, I took the crutch, and did great. I was not able to walk and chase the kids at the park since I had been having such a crappy 24 hours. I also end up doing a lot of standing here, the kids sit at the breakfast bar when they eat, so I am up and down getting everything, feeding them, cleaning up after them...

I am finally sitting now, at 11:30 pm, I am being rude, the whole family is downstairs eating ice cream, but I needed to get everything off my chest, and more will come when I get home! I am evaluating the day, the damage possible done and pray that I did not have setback from this mini-not-so-vacation! Live and learn!!

Is this Real or am I dreaming????

I go through periods with no pain...ok, I had a steroid injection in my hip, but still...is this the magic answer??? I think about this sometimes, especially when having a few good days, and then bam, out of nowhere, pain.

This morning, Jk woke up at 6:15, yes, on a Sunday. After unsuccessfully trying to lull him back to sleep, we decided to take a walk, we walked for about 45 minutes, with a single stroller (as opposed to my double, which weighs 35lbs on its own, empty). I also walked yesterday for about 45 minutes with Jk, and then 45 minutes with my daughter, L. No pain in my unoperated hip!

A little later in the morning, I had to walk L (daughter, 3 yrs old) to ballet, not even half a block into the trip, I had pain, it was so random....why then and not earlier???? Why not during my numerous long walks earlier? The only difference I can possibly attribute it to is that I did have the double stroller, but even so, am I crazy???

I also noticed that I am compensating with my foot, I don't like to put the medial side of my foot down when I walk.....crazy!
So surgery is in 2 weeks, I feel weird going through with this when I have painfree days....but I should watch what I say, because I know that right after that comes out of my mouth....I will have pain!
btw- I don't use nor do I believe in painscales, so I will never refer to my pain being a "3", or whatever!!! Also, I really like orange strollers!!!!